april

I am a little worried about what will happen to me come April...there are so many pros and cons regarding this...
I in essence have given a year of my life away and got accustomed to a different way of life and in that given year I also changed, I got older (a year !!) my house is messier (that will have to be worked on first...)we have just got used to not being home much (hardly at all...) and that is going to change on March 31st.
in an attempt to get ready for this change, I went to JoAnns tonight...how is that
different? there used to be a JoAnns pretty close to me and many months ago, think it was the Christmas before 2011, they closed that store and I had been used to going to that store 2-3 x a week (yes, that often, check out how much fabric I have)...I have a serious addiction to fabric...I buy what I like, not really knowing at the time what I will do with it...so I have tons and tons of fabric that I need to use but that does not stop me from still looking (and buying too) but I have not been since before April of 2011...
I did not feel good today, a bad migraine...but I thought if I got out of the house, I might feel better so Ross took me to Corona to JoAnns...I think I died and went to heaven...I have truly missed my passion, and I cannot wait to get back to doing what I love to do...
that being said, the year of my life I am also going to miss in some parts...I really am...but there are also parts that have been hard (really hard) for me especially emotionally...my feelings have been hurt so so so so many times and so of course that part will not be hard for me to leave...but we have made some good friends and had some good times and I have loved being the wife of the ER and it is
hard stepping down and handing over the reigns to someone else cause you have been doing it every single day for a year, whether or not you were appreciated, you were still there doing what was expected of you (or going over and above,) and
now you are a nobody...someone who already went through what I am going to go thru, put it best when she said, "one day you are Miss america, everyone loves you, you have a crown and a bouquet of roses. the next day your crown falls off your head and you are holding dead flowers and noone notices you when you come into the room."
I have been preparing myself for this to happen, but as it gets closer and closer, I
find myself getting more and more emotional...I cry easy anyways, but it is really bad right now...

anyway to hopefully try to prepare myself, I bought a couple of patterns tonight...tho not sure if Zoe will want to wear anything that I make anymore...will have to wait and see...if not, maybe Sian will let me and if not, I will maybe go back to making baby items and selling them on Etsy or Ebay...I don't make a lot of money doing that but it is my passion...

just venting cause I am worried about April...

http://2littledutchdolls.blogspot.com/

the above blog is my sewing blog...