to be a daddy, part two

1. the subject of this post (and the previous one) has really been on my mind for awhile now...I am not just coming down hard on dads, guess I should also sometime do a post on moms also... and these postings have to do with every dad I have seen or known about who are not doing right by their children...
   
   btw the titles of these two posts came from a sort of funny thing that happened many years ago...a "friend" of mine had something horrible happen to her and she had no one at the time to lean on and so when she needed "help" my husband very graciously offered to stand up and "help" her...he went with her when she needed an abortion...(now please don't get me started) I absolutely do not in any way agree with abortions, but in this case it was very much called for...she was in a very bad state and for her this was the only solution...so, here is my terrific husband taking a day off from work to help out a friend of mine...but, he decided to wear this certain shirt that day, that the kids and I had gotten him for Father's Day...when he came home after all was said and done, he told me, "everyone kept looking at me like I was strange..." I then pointed out to him, that his tee shirt said, "anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy..." I am sure that the people at the clinic thought he was my friend's significant other...
   
   OK back to subject...
   
   so, knowing that mistakes were previously made, don't you think life should have changed by now??? in other words I was really hoping that the same things that happened with my own kids would not have then happened again with the grand kids...when Zoe (& since she was the first grand child) was born, everyone was thrilled, ecstatic, over the moon and I especially was, her being a girl...when I had Samantha, I don't think I truly appreciated her being a girl as much as I could have...you know what I am talking about, the girly things...I dressed her up in overalls and the such, and if I could've done it differently now, well you know...then I had 2 boys and I guess that is when I started truly appreciating girly apparel...
   
   when my sister died and we got custody of her 2 small children (Ashley was 2 and Brandon was 3 at the time, and my own were 10-12-14, so I had not had small kids for awhile...) the first thing I did, when I knew they were coming was go to Mervyn's and stock up on pink and lace and barrettes...then wouldn't you know, once she came to us, SHE was not a girly girl at all...but, boy did Brandon like to dress up (not in girly things) but, thru me, he started liking everything to match and loved getting cute socks...when I took him shopping with me, we had to check out socks first and he loved his tees too...I started painting his shirts, cause he knew what he wanted but it was not always easy to find in stores..when the Dalmation movie came out, it was his idea to have a tee with matching socks to see the movie...and then he had to have a shirt with a school bus on it, so when we walked up to meet my kid's school bus, he had his shirt on...we at the time were in Val Verde school district, and Brandon called it Bal Berde!!! Ashley could have cared less, she mostly liked to wear nothing but panties, she loved taking her clothes off...
   
   a funny story...when the kids first came to us, and I had splurged at Mervyn's for them, the first day Brandon wanted to go out and play and I got his clothes out (& I love Osh Kosh overalls) but I got them out, and he refused to wear them...he said, "my other mommy in heaven said that I never have to wear those anymore..." after I explained that he either wear them or he could not play outside, he also loved Osh Kosh after that and that is all he would wear...
   
   do you love it when I keep getting off subject??? but I also wanted this blog to be about memories, so when I am gone the stories will be archived somewhere...so there...
   
   one memory that I will never forget is when I found out that I would have a grand child...Sam at 19 had had ovarian tumors and the night of her surgery the dr. told us, they might have to take "everything" meaning that having babies in the future might not be...we made a decision at the time to do what needed to be done to stabilize my daughter...we would worry about the future later...when the dr came out after surgery I could tell by his face that not all was well but he explained that they left a tiny piece of one ovary in the hopes that much later invitro would have to be used along with this tiny bit of ovary to hopefully get pregnant...at that point, we did not care, she was only 19 and now at least we knew what was wrong with her and the pain would ease and she would be all right...she was stabilized for the time...
   
   so, fast forward many years and now she was married, but he knew that babies were most likely not in the picture since invitro was expensive...they got busy with their lives and moved forward...
   one night Greg and I were eating at Sizzler in Perris and in walked Sam and he with something in her hand...dumb me, I didn't know what it was, they had to explain...it was a positive pregnancy test...WHAT??????????????? how could this be??????????????? even as happy as my heart felt at that point, my head could not wrap around this miracle and I refused to believe until many loooooooooooooooong weeks later when we witnessed with our own eyes the little miracle on ultrasound...we all were thrilled...
   
   so back to what I was talking about...we had bought a really cute unisex outfit for Samantha to bring the baby home from the hospital...every ultrasound that had been done, the legs were always crossed and so we never really knew what the baby was...I was sure all along that the baby was a boy...this is where I got started buying on ebay, buying cute baby boy clothes, that is how sure I was...so, Samantha was in labor for days and on a Sunday evening, the Dr. decided that enough was enough and they were going to do a Csection...my friend Val came down, the nurse came out and I asked her and she wouldn't tell me, thinking that maybe he had not told us yet...so, we waited on pins and needles and finally they wheeled out the bassinet and there it was a little pink, yes I said pink card on the basket...I am not sure when it really did dawn on me, I HAVE A GRAND DAUGHTER...everyone was crowded around the baby and I could not get a good view, but my friend kept nudging me up closer...it was one of the best days of my life...they let me go back and see Samantha and they brought the baby back in and I got to hold her and let me tell you, there is nothing better in the world...I finally had the girl, I finally could go buy PINK...now, the outfit that was waiting to bring the baby home in was darling and I still remember it...from Carters, it was all white, with silver stars (good for unisex)the whole set was in the suitcase, the gown, hat, blanket, onesie, everything... but now not good enough for a grand daughter of mine...do I have to say what we did next??? OK...we went to the Carter's store and bought everything pink I could get my hands on and the set that we picked to go home in certainly lived up to being entirely and completely GIRLY...it was pink and accented with pink roses and had the blanket, hat, gown, onesie, and these darling little pink crotched booties...the highlight of the set was the hat, sort of like a bakers hat, and since the little princess was born at a hefty 9-5, she had very chubby cheeks and the hat only accentuated those cheeks...(when we took her for her first pediatrician's appt. the nurse behind the desk, went crazy over how cute she looked and asked if she could go show her off...we let her of course...even the dr. thought she was darling...
   btw we still have the white unisex set put away somewhere...
   
   ok ok, I was a little off subject but not that far..............back to the night she was born, someone had tears in his eyes that night and I truly thought we were headed down the correct path for the rest of HER life...